More Than Meets the Eye

On NPR tonight I stumbled upon quite an interesting article about a new exhibit at The California Museum of Photography about blind photographers. The exhibit is called Sights Unseen. I suppose I never considered the idea, yes there are deaf musicians (hello Beethoven), so this lead me to research more about the subject.
Quite an impressive feat. But I also wonder.
Leaving the learning curve behind, of being able to see and appreciate your finished product and learn from perhaps poor composition and lighting and all the other nuances that make an interesting picture, there is an element of luck...of serendipity.
Dark room aside, if it isn't studio photography where all the elements are in place to reach a desired result. If it's candid or documentary, many times luck falls into place, especially when not shooting digital, when you can't just erase and retake a picture endlessly. So many times I've had the camera in my hand and have constructed the picture in my mind as I take it only to yield poor and boring results. Other times it will be a haphazard picture that will be the most impressive.
This is why photography is such an adventure in itself. You never really know what you will get, how pictures will turn out. I suppose you could say that about any art form, but when I go to galleries or flip through art books only photography will illicit real goosebumps.

Of Bees and Men

"The bees have a society, but maybe not a government. Their affect makes them seem happy, but how could they be? They're either buzzing toward a burden or burdened buzzing home; if they're light, they want to be heavy, if they're heavy they want to be light. Such yearning."
- excerpt from Report from the
Committee on Town Happiness
by Alan Michael Parker

Destruction - Catharsis

Also, lately I've been wanting to do this...but with more fury.

The Hallway by Miranda July

The Hallway from The Hallway on Vimeo.

I found this tonight as I was surfing the web and sipping some wine in my room with no desire to leave. I really like it. If you go to her website you will find haters and lovers commenting on this video. I guess she is one of those love them or hate them artists. A strong reacion either way is better than no reaction, I suppose. Plus, who really wants to be loved by everyone anyway. Boring!

Live Shows

It's been a great season for live shows in SF...in the past few months I've been able to see some of my favorite musicians performing at great venues. The latest two Little Joy and Camera Obscura put on wonderful shows. There's truly nothing like going to a live show. The energy from the band, the sound, live instrumentation and vocals, and when the band plays your all time favorite song it's on!

Artfag Potluck

This past sunday afternoon I joined some fellow fags for some good eating and creative mind melding. It was an awesome experience. The turnout was about 30 or more of us, the majority in the mid twenty to early thirty age range. Several people I knew were there and alot of familiar faces from the more alternaqueer "scene".
Arrival was around 5 where everyone preceded to share their dishes, drinks and mingle. Space in an old Victorian in the upper Haight became tight but made it all the more cozy. After an initial warm up, our gracious hosts welcomed us to the first Artfag Potluck, hoping it will be a monthly event and turned the show over to the presenters.
Included in the Show and Tell portion of the evening was audio (several This American Life style shorts about people in San Francisco with odd jobs. The pieces where "The Masturbation Coach", "The Jizz Mopper", a woman who waxes people for a living and makes SF a smoother place "one strip at a time."
Also presented was some still life, charcoal paintings and mixed media.
The final piece was a 20 min. video called In Their Room. This focused on readers of BUTT Magazine, in their rooms, with the doors closed, capturing an intimate, erotic, often vulnerable portrait of men when they are alone and what the enjoy doing in their bedrooms.
The evening progressed quickly in a current of artistic ideas, projects and potential collaborations.
There was something quite wonderful about being among peers, fellow queers, progressive and artistic thinkers. I didn't eat that much despite an enviable spread nevertheless I left feeling pretty full and already looking forward to the next potluck.

Unwelcome

I'm sitting in my kitchen waiting for this bread pudding to cook. I'm making it for an Artfag Potluck I'm going to tomorrow. I should be more excited about it. It's going to be a good way to build more of a community and establish more connections with my queer artist brethren (which happily, this city is bountiful in).

I wasn't even going to write about this, because...well it's alot more personal than I usually am on here. But what is a blog if not a place to write your thoughts and and share your mind.

I guess what I'm sitting here thinking about as my pudding heats and bubbles in the oven is the fact that I might have an unwelcome guest...

You arrived so suddenly! Funny thing is you had been crashing a while before I even realized you were around. I didn't invite you so I got rid of you fast.

But now I think you might be back. Something is weird, a bit off. It's painful. Physically painful. That's the way you announced your arrival before, so I'm scared you've returned.

As much as I try to not think about you coming back it's all it's all I've been able to think about these past few days. Every thing and every part of my day I'm tense because I can feel you coming back. I think you might already be here.

I really want to think that I'm being paranoid. That a part of me is just freaking because of your last visit and what a mess I had to clean up after you left. I didn't realize you left such a dissaray until I started having nervous breakdowns while picking up the pieces. What a trip that was.

And now here I am again. I'm going on monday hopefully to see if anybody has seen you come through town. I really hope they don't. I think part of the reason I'm writing this is because I want to be proven wrong and look back at this and laugh at how silly and paranoid I was. That you got the message the first time and now know you're not welcome.

I just don't know that I can deal with the fact that you might want to come back...best not to think about that and figure it out if/when you do...

In the meantime I wonder if I should clean my room, just in case.

Hmmm, I'll finish this glass of wine first, because tonight I need it.

a favorite

28

Yesterday I turned 28. Today I quit one of my jobs.

I guess a birthday is your own personal new year. So I should make a resolution? Why not.
This new year I will find a job I love. I will build my massage practice. I will take more pictures and become serious about my love of photography.

Yes. It's time to move forward.

San Francisco