Sunday, October 16, 2011

A Curse

At some point in this journey it seemed cancer was a gift in a twisted way. To help me see things clearly, to help me get perspective, to see what really matters...everything was going to be ok and I was going to be afforded a second chance.
Not anymore. I had a major surgery to remove whatever the doctors could find in my body that didn't belong. Several weeks later I'm still in the hospital recovering. The surgery was successful but who knows when the cancer might come back.
Being in the hospital has turned into torture, tubes coming and going left and right. I haven't eaten in weeks waiting for my body to wake up from the shock of surgery. The cancer has finally affected my brain.
Depressed, sad and hopeless I'm now on antidepressants, anti anxiety and sleeping medication as my mind is driving me crazy. Being held prisoner in a sterile cell watching everyone's life continue and while I'm trapped in a nightmare I can't escape. When will it end???

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